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This Year’s Mothra
No, the topic for this week isn’t B Monster Movies. It’s actually about Labor Day. Labor Day, for those of us who are not Union Members, government workers, etc. is the last Holiday before Thanksgiving. This year, true to this year’s form here in New Jersey, it rained much of the time. This meant that the typical activities most of us indulge in were not practical. As a result, I found myself checking the TV listings, most of which were filled with Some Kind Of Marathon. For some reason, the choice was even more abysmal than usual. Ok, Animal Planet has a “The Worlds Funniest Animals Marathon”. Not just for one day, but for the entire weekend. After about 2 ˝ hours this started to wear thin. Oddly enough, Spike TV (formerly TNN) had a mundane Star Trek The Next Generation Marathon. A “Blind Date” or “Real TV” Marathon would have been more entertaining, but this was not to be. Next I checked the SciFi Channel. They had a selection of the more recent Mothra and Godzilla flix. I put this on for background noise, glancing at the screen every once in a while. At one point, I noticed a particularly poignant scene. It seems the current version of Mothra was dying after heroically defeating another monster. This year’s Mothra looked even cheesier than those I grew up with in the 50’s and 60’s. It looked like it was constructed with a Tinker Toy skeleton wrapped with brightly colored pipe cleaners, with Tennis and Ping Pong balls for a head and eyes, and wings taken from a kite. Finally, the real tearjerker came when Mothra floated to the bottom of the sea, which probably is a total violation of the laws of physics, unless they are different in Japan. I’d guess this film was shot after the Titanic and Perfect Storm epics, although obviously on a much lower budget, since it was highly reminiscent of them.
Sunday, SciFi had an Outer Limits Marathon, unfortunately with the same episodes they’ve used 3 or 4 times before. Fortunately, I didn’t have to watch this, since the Southern 500, which will probably be the last one in Darlington, SC on Labor Day weekend, was on. When I was growing up, I always wanted to go there, not so much for the race, but for the bizarre activities in the infield. Sadly, this will never be.
Now it’s Monday. This time, the History Channel and The Discovery Channel get in the act. With what? The same friggin’ Harley Davidson and Motorcycle shows they featured last year. Finally, in a fit of poetic justice, the cable system went down Monday night. I guess they were tired of all of the complaints from people about the programming.
Jerry Lewis? Enough is enough. I know I should feel guilty – at least as much as anyone else whose parents lived in the Newark area in the first half of the Twentieth Century. It’s safe to say you could probably fill Yankee Stadium with everyone who claims to have known him as a teenager. I made a point not to answer any calls with Caller ID showing an 800 number.
Thankfully, Tuesday finally came around, and it was time to go back to work.
Ed Colton
Perth Amboy, NJ
Sep. 5, 2003
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